Game Review: Hoard!

Quick Score: A/A- (when used with a trackball), D-/F (when used with keyboard)

This game represents one of man’s greatest desires: to be a dragon burnanating things.  I was PSYCHED when I found it in the cheapie bin at the Steam Summer Sale.  I paid $2.50 and bought a copy for a friend.  I had several friends that already had it, too.

When I brought it up, I immediately changed the controls to the mouse controls because the keyboard controls it uses suck.  It also even tells you that it’s built for xbox and they suggest a controller for gameplay.  I applaud the honesty and it works like a DREAM on the trackball but this game is GAWD AWFUL if you’re stuck using a keyboard because you can’t turn, it’s difficult to stop, and damn near impossible to aim your fire.  All of which make it a bit of an F for people too cheap to get a nice mouse, I give it a D- because it’s not like you can’t play it, it’s just a complete pain and a solid F for me would showcase that it was impossible.  I’ve played with friends on keyboard, I’ve just always outscored them.

Now that I’ve explained my caveat, it’s not visually astounding, the gameplay isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s fun, a great time waster, and a really neat game that’s cheap that you can play coop with friends. The coop part can be hard to find in conjunction with the cheap part so I can appreciate that.

I find something satisfying about burnanating things and kidnapping princesses, building a hoard and killing would be bandits, blowing up wizard’s towers that would crush me, running out of loot space after I kill a giant, and the like. I really love playing it with friends, and the music option is manageable for such a low-fi game.

Paying more than $9.99 for this game is sheer asshattery, but it’s a steal at up to $5.00 for the enjoyment factor.  There’s also scads of achievements in game to keep you laughing.  Replayability is very high, and it’s just a fun ride.

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